


Your Name

by ashdoll



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Fluff and Angst, Historical Inaccuracy, I still don't know how to tag guys, I'm Sorry, Idiots in Love, M/M, Minor Character Death, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Soulmates, Steve Rogers-centric, also I started this like way over a year ago and uh, can this be classified as either?, cause I do the laziest research, just now finished, like super, mentions of death and dying, this is my first work for this fandom so
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-10
Updated: 2018-10-13
Packaged: 2018-10-28 15:59:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10834566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashdoll/pseuds/ashdoll
Summary: Was "What's With the Pity in Your Eyes?"Only these two idiots could have each others' names written on their wrists and somehow not immediately get together.a.k.a soulmate au that no one asked for except me. repeatedly.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is all 100% self-indulgent. I don't know what else to tell you.

Steve had known Bucky almost as long as he could remember. Longer than he really  _cared_ to remember, at least. He'd met Bucky years before soulmates really matter, and were just words sometimes used by adults. By the time they were old enough for those words to start to matter Steve had decided he really didn't care much for the entire soul mates deal anyway. And when Bucky's eighteenth birthday finally rolled around Steve knew for certain that he did not want a soul mate. 

Steve had been quietly dreading Bucky's birthday for months. Everyone around them seemed to be getting their names, and each friend that came to school with a name newly scrawled on the inside of their wrists left Steve with a sickening reminder that their days were severely numbered.

No one knew why or how, but everyone got a name on their wrist at the age of eighteen. Typically they got their name on the day they turned eighteen, though it wasn't completely unheard of to get it some time later. Although it was rare. And rarer still was getting a name of someone of the same gender. If an Eric woke up with a Charles written on their wrist it was simply assumed it was meant to be a platonic bond. Steve didn't understand it. Apparently it was still wrong for people of the same gender to actually love each other, even if the  _universe_ itself decided they were meant to be.

Still. Not that that really meant anything to Steve personally. Bucky had always made a point to show off his girl of the week to anybody in a hundred yard radius. He doubted there was much of a chance of Bucky getting any man's name.

So Steve wasn't surprised when, on the day of Bucky's birthday, his best friend was no where to be seen. They hadn't really made official plans (though they stopped making official plans after the first birthday they shared it was just a fact that they would spend the day with each other). Steve wasn't a bit hurt to think that Bucky had run off to find his girl like he always said he would. Well, maybe he was a little hurt, but the look his ma gave him stung much worse. She'd given him a smile and told him that soon enough he'd be getting a name too. The thought only made Steve feel even more bitter about the situation.

A full weekend without hearing from Bucky worried him sick. Literally. Steve ran a fever high enough to land him in the hospital for a night and keep him out of school for nearly the entire week. By the time Steve was able to drag himself to school Bucky had started wearing a leather cuff to cover the name on his wrist. Steve didn't ask and Bucky didn't tell and so they continued on the same as always. 

For a while it was like nothing had changed at all. Anyone looking at them would have thought that anyway. Steve still got into scuffles he couldn't get out of without a decent number of scrapes and bruises, and Bucky still came to his aide every time. For over a year Steve and Bucky are just Steve and Bucky. Bucky's nineteenth birthday is spent at Coney Island, Steve throwing up his lunch after a single ride.

A few months later Steve wakes up to find  _James Buchanan Barnes_ scrawled neatly across his thin wrist and he can feel his dinner trying to crawl its way back up his throat.

He feels oddly relieved and absolutely sick at the same time.

Steve had known for years by then that no matter whose name was on his wrist Bucky would be the most important person in the world to him. The name on his wrist only cemented that even further. It secured his feelings for Bucky and left him cold simultaneously.

He could have continued denying his feels for years, aided helpfully by someone else's name on his wrist, until he found someone he didn't mind spending forever with. Preferably a soul mate that was not James Buchanan Barnes. Because while Bucky might be  _Steve's_ soul mate some lucky girl had the same name and Bucky had hers.

Now at best Steve had a few months before his ma or someone started asking after his name, and while Steve couldn't stand lying to his ma he dreaded the day he had to tell her about the feelings he'd had for years for another man.

Steve sighed and sat back in his bed, staring up at the ceiling. He could smell breakfast going in the kitchen and soft voices talking. Bucky was always the one to sleep in, and yet here he was talking to Steve's ma early on Steve's birthday, quietly for once, letting Steve sleep in. Steve felt something warm settle in his chest, chasing away the cold. He pushed himself up and grabbed the nearest shirt that would cover the name on his wrist. He hadn't asked Bucky about his yet, even though he'd dropped so many hints while drunk that he was surprised Bucky hadn't punched him.

Things were just easier between them when soul mates weren't involved.

Steve dressed and plastered a wide smile on his face before going to greet the two people he cared about most.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is up way to soon. It's setting a precedent I don't know I can live with. But if it's done, it's done.

"If it isn't the man of the hour."

The name on Steve's wrist felt warm and heavy at the sound of Bucky's voice. Though that was probably just Steve's imagination. He didn't think he was supposed to be feeling anything from the words, anyway.

Steve gave them a smile, accepting hugs from the two. "Not like I could sleep with all the chatter." He replied, laughing as Bucky wrangled him into a loose headlock. The rest of the day is spent full of laughs and soft teasing. His ma asked about his name but after a few words and a look she let it go. He wasn't used to lying- not to her or to Bucky -and it left him with a bitter taste in his mouth, but he would rather bear that than ruin the day with the truth. In the evening his ma retired to her room claiming she wasn't feeling very well and Steve and Bucky were left alone for the first time all day. 

Steve helped Bucky clean up, the silence between them easy.

His eyes strayed to the thick band of leather around Bucky's wrist. He's changed it in the little over a year that he's had a Name. This one is thinner, just wide enough to cover whoever's name was on his wrist. Steve could see the faint tan line from the last bracelet, and he itched to draw. Bucky wasn't some scrawny kid anymore (except Bucky had never really been a scrawny kid- especially when compared to Steve) and Steve spent more time than he'd care to admit drawing Buck straight from memory.

He glances at his own wrist and his stomach twists at the knowledge that the man standing five feet away from him is his  _soulmate._ The one person in the entire universe that was perfect for Steve, and he would probably have to stand beside him as he married some woman and had kids (two- a boy and a girl like any wholesome American family) and lived an entire life completely happy with Steve as nothing more than a friend. Something clenched in Steve's chest almost like when he was having an asthma attack, and he was glad they were done eating because any appetite he might have had would have disappeared right then.

Bucky could feel the sudden shift in mood, and Steve knew he was doomed as the man turned around with a worried frown on his face.

"Stevie, you doin' alright? You're lookin' a little green there." And even though the words didn't seem very serious Steve knew that Bucky was ready to rush him to the nearest hospital if Steve so much as stumbled.

Steve managed a weak smile as he shrugged. "I guess I just figured I'd get my Name today after all." He said, hoping that would be enough for now. They'd only really talked about their names briefly before, and never very seriously, but Steve had made it clear that he had no allusions about getting one. With how many times his doctors had dubbed him a lost cause and suggested his ma start thinking about funeral arrangements, he'd always figured he wouldn't get a name 'cause he was already living on borrowed time. And yet here he was with the one name he'd always quietly hoped he'd get and more miserable than ever.

Bucky turned towards him, steel in his eyes. Even if they rarely talked about their Names, Bucky had always had strong feelings about whether or not Steve would get one. "You'll get a name, Steve." He said, voice firm and unforgiving.

Steve simply shrugged again. "I don't want to talk about it today." He told him. That, at least, was the truth.

He waited until Bucky nodded before putting the last of the dishes away. It wasn't like they had many and Steve always made sure to take good care of the ones they had. Slowly Steve managed to push aside any and all thoughts of soulmates, wanting to enjoy the day. Except for the couple of weeks surrounding Bucky's birthday, things had always been easy with them. Any fights they had were most likely a result of some idiotic thing one or the other decided to do, and Steve wanted to keep it that way. Keep them that way. Because at the end of the day, even if Steve could only be by Bucky as a friend he would take that over not being in Bucky's life at all a thousand times over. 

"Why don't we go out? Let loose now that we're both official adults?" Steve offered, knowing Buck would like that. He didn't think Bucky had  _ever_ turned down a night on the town and he definitely wouldn't know that Steve was actually asking. They would probably regret it in the morning- no they would definitely regret it -but for now the two simply grinned and dressed in their nicest clothes before hitting the nearest nightclub or bar they could get into.

It went about the same as it always did with Bucky finding more than one girl willing to dance with him while Bucky struggled to find even one for Steve- not that Steve really minded. While there were definitely other ways he would rather spend the end of his birthday all Steve had to do was glance at Bucky's wide grin and he was happy. After all, as long as his soulmate was happy, how much could Steve complain?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I mean... It's goin' somewhere...
> 
> I don't think this will have more than five chapters, but I'm not really planning too far into the future. I'm just along for the ride, my guys.
> 
> Also if you guys see any mistakes let me know cause it's the middle of the night and I don't know how to proofread stuff 
> 
> Also also I don't know how things worked in the 1930s when this is taking place and I'm really not going to look much more into it other than a google search I'm so sorry


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fuck I'm late
> 
> I wrote this even later than usual so if you see any mistakes please let me know
> 
> also some new tags and rating changes and yeah

The next few months were spent in a grief stricken haze, soul mates and unrequited love all but forgotten. Steve's ma would spend the last weeks of her life in and out of hospitals. It was nothing but dumb luck that kept Steve from falling ill himself. Instead, he was forced to watch her worsen and fade away.

Bucky helped more than he should have, but Steve couldn't be upset by Bucky's rotten habits when it seemed to be the only thing keeping his ma alive sometimes. So he stayed quiet when Bucky came home with a bottle of cough medicine he definitely didn't have the money for, not even when they were both working at the factory.

Sarah Rogers was typically the picture of health. Steve was the one that was always bedridden, or in the hospital. Neither one of them knew what to do as Sarah steadily got worse.

Steve should have seen it coming a long time ago. Since his birthday she'd been going to bed earlier and earlier, and he'd heard her coughing through the thin apartment walls more and more often. It'd taken her nearly falling over before he noticed. Steve had seen this happen before. He didn't know how he could have been so blind. A neighbors coughing bloody like their body was trying to get rid of their lungs, or someone in the street deliriously feverish.

There was a short time when it looked like Steve had. It turned out to be the factory air playing up his asthma until he could barely breathe, the heat in the cramped room making his shirt stick to his back with sweat. It had taken one look from Bucky for Steve to be put under house arrest. 

Breathing got harder for different reasons.

He played nurse while he was forced to stay home, changing his ma's sheets as often as he needed too, and as often as he could really since neither Bucky or his ma would let him be around her for long. He still went and gave her her meals, and took as good care of her as possibly could with his limited capabilities. 

When she finally passed it was quietly in her room during the night. Steve had thought the quiet meant her coughing had subsided, letting her sleep. He went into her room with a bowl of broth, hopeful for the first time in weeks. Her hand had already been cold when he'd touched it.

The funeral was a quiet affair, a week after that morning. It was just Steve, Bucky, and a handful of family friends mostly made up of neighbors. Bucky didn't leave his side even to work from the moment he found out (part of Steve worried about that but mostly he was just grateful). The name on his wrist was warm and almost comforting for the first time since he got it. People left slowly, one by one as the day went on until it was just Steve and Bucky. Steve stared down at the freshly filled grave for a long time, eyes dry. There wasn't enough money for a gravestone to be made. Guilt weighed heavily in his stomach, making Steve feel like he was about to throw up a meal he hadn't had. 

Bucky didn't try to talk on the walk home, and Steve was grateful. Again. He didn't have anything to say. Not then. It felt like he might never find any words to say. He was going to walk into an empty apartment- his apartment now -for the first time in his life, and there wasn't anything that could make him feel better about that. 

Steve hesitated outside the apartment. He didn't have his key. Bucky was saying something behind him, but Steve wasn't paying any attention as he patted down his pockets. "Buck, please." Steve turned around only to be faced with the spare key. He stopped and gave Bucky a small smile. "Thanks."

"Don't mention it, Stevie. You know I'm with you 'til the end of the line."  
  
Steve replayed those words over in his head for days.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I set some kind of record for not updating or what? 
> 
> I'm super sorry since I did take forever AND the chapter is way shorter than usual but it was either split this bit up into two or have one chapter be ridiculously long. At least now this whole thing is gonna go on just a little longer so there's that. I hope you guys haven't lost interest and this chapter is like.. decent? This thing is wrapping up and that just makes everything 100X harder so... next chapter up soon?
> 
> Oh, and if you want to check out my tumblr you'll find me @ idjitsinhell and feel free to message me with questions and stuff cause guess what I like to talk about myself and my works


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> back after a one year hiatus and uh, arguably worse at writing than before lol
> 
> but still read it

Steve hadn't seen Bucky in months.

It wasn't like he had enlisted to be with him, but this was the longest they had gone without seeing each other that Steve could remember. Bucky hadn't even _seen_ his new body. Sometimes Steve wondered if his soulmate would even recognize him if he saw him parading around on stage. He doubted it. 

Steve wished it hadn't taken something like  _this_ to bring them face to face again.

Weeks of touring around the country in his red, white, and blue costume while Bucky was in some far unknown camp possibly being tortured, maybe even near death, had taken its toll. Emotionally for the most part, he hadn't been exhausted physically since, well, the change. The seemingly useless serum if all they wanted him for was to be some dancing doll to inspire  _other_ men to fight and buy bonds. Steve couldn't bear it when he'd gotten the news. 

He was supposed to be out there, if not along side Bucky then at least doing _something._ What was the point of his new body if he wasn't out fighting with all the other able men?

Still, it had taken Bucky's capture to spur him into anything resembling action, and Peggy and Howard were surprisingly willing to let him go. Well, willing may not have been the right word but neither did they stand in his way, particularly not after he had shown Peggy exactly why he needed to find Bucky. She hadn't seemed the least bit surprised at seeing Bucky's name on his arm and he had never been more grateful for her composure. Once he had her on his side everything else fell into line and within a couple days he was in the compound that was supposed to be housing one James Buchanan Barnes.

It was both easier and harder than Steve thought it would be. Finding Bucky was the easier part,  _seeing_ Bucky was something else entirely. He wasn't sure what he had pictured before, but now finding Bucky in a lab of all places, Steve felt his stomach knot up even further.

Bucky's eyes were feverish and roaming, mumbled words escaping his lips without a conscious thought. Bucky didn't seem aware of any of his surrounding, not even as Steve ran in and came to a stop beside him. Steve didn't bother trying to listen to his words. He was far more concerned with getting Bucky somewhere safe. 

"Buck. Buck, it's me. Come on," Steve gripped Bucky's shoulder, trying to catch his eye, snap him out of whatever he was going through. He could almost feel the sweat dampening his glove through the thin shirt Bucky had on.

He could see the confusion in his friend's eyes as he focused in on Steve's figure. "Steve?" Maybe it was his new size but Bucky had never seemed smaller.

The relief he felt then was staggering. Part of him wasn't sure. Couldn't be sure, that Bucky would be safe and alive until then. He looked him over but other than the general grime and a few bruises Bucky seemed to be more or less in one piece. In need of a lot of rest, yes, but-

Steve stopped.

The name on Bucky's arm was visible. He didn't know when the leather cuff that was also around Bucky's wrist had come off, maybe he had chosen to take it off or maybe it had been Hydra? Either way it the words contrasted sharply against Bucky's skin even in the dim uneven light of the lab. It wasn't the time but Steve couldn't stop himself from looking, just a glance, just to  _know._

_Steven Grant Rogers_ was stamped along a worryingly thin wrist. 

A giddy sort of feeling welled up in Steve's chest but he shoved it aside quickly as he worked Bucky's restraints off. 

Steve stared down at Bucky, even more determined than before if that was possible. Which it was. Because now he realized how  _stupid_ he had been. And not just stupid but oblivious and self centered and-

They  _would_ get out. There wasn't a question about it. They would get out alive and in one piece. And after, they would talk. Sit down and talk about everything, and maybe they would laugh, or cry, or both but they would do that together.

The universe wasn't nearly as cruel as he'd thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Except it IS because this loosely follows canon and like y'all know how that goes lol
> 
> also I haven't seen cap 1 in uhhhh years so I really just made up what needed to be made up. pls pretend that's just how everything went down.
> 
> lol tbh I just hope this like.. flows? It's been over a year since I've written ANYTHING much less uh this. obviously. which is probably why it's so short also like the ending is so cheesy lmfao I just figured it would be nice to like,,, finish something for once? it was pretty meandeering but you know idk it's just what happened. I have something else in mind with slightly more plot but we'll see how that goes. maybe I'll have more dialogue that would be nice.
> 
> and if any of you og readers are out there? I love y'all

**Author's Note:**

> First I want to apologize for how bad this is. I typically don't write, much less for fandoms I'm not extremely active in but I mean this is a thing. I really only have the vaguest idea for where this is going tbh this is what I get for being impulsive. I had a perfectly good story all planned out and yet...
> 
> Anyways, I'll most likely be continuing this if I find people enjoy it. Otherwise I'll probably start posting the other one.


End file.
